There is a powerful, life-giving phenomenon, called the Humboldt Current, in the Pacific Ocean of South America. Its positive effects reach for miles to unlikely places and in unlikely ways. These are my education goals for the children I teach on the North Dakota prairie -- fall in love with learning, then go change your world…

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Attack of the Killer Math Manipulatives

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One of the best pieces of advice I received during my education courses at the university came from a sweet, brilliant methods instructor. Her recommendation to us was that when we introduce any kind of hands-on manipulative, we should allow the children time to simply play with them before beginning any instruction.  Her thinking was that they are going to play and be distracted anyway, so give them the green light and make them think you are the nicest/grooviest/most benevolent teacher in the whole wide world!! (“Mrs. Dahl, you are so, so, so, so, so niiiiiiiiiiiice!!”  In the world of a six-year-old, this is the equivalent of a Nobel Peace Prize). When they have satiated that need to play/stack/build with said math items, then you might possibly have their attention enough to actually get some instruction in.

How right she was.

Today I had a chance to use my brand spankin’ new geoboards.  What in the name of Sam is a GEOBOARD?? (…you might be asking).  A geoboard, my naïve friend, is a flat, plastic square with pegs spaced at even intervals.  Rubber bands are then stretched over the pegs to help teach geometry and positional concepts.  They were invented by an Egyptian mathematician in the 50’s.  I was excited to dig them out because it was the first time I have had opportunity to use my very own set.  For my first two classes of first graders, I had to borrow from either kindergarten or second grade on the mornings my math lesson plans called for them.  I usually forgot to ask to borrow until the morning was in full swing, and if you have ever stepped into a kindergarten classroom when things are really humming, it’s a bit like standing in the middle of an electrical power substation.  The kilowatts being produced have the very air humming.  Enter at your own risk….

I tore off the plastic wrap and opened the small plastic bags of “geobands” aka garden-variety-office-supply rubber bands (were the rubber trees these came from a hybrid especially produced for this purpose?  “… of the species, Geobordus Stretchythingyus…”), then proudly handed a brightly colored geoboard to each student, along with a “geoband” (wink, wink).

This is when the trouble started… a disturbance in the Magic Tree House Force, if you will.  Six-year-olds with budding fine motor skills + elastic bands capable of launching across a room and/or snapping tender skin = you do the math.  I had just glowingly given them the OK to “play” with their geoboards (“Mrs. Dahl, you are so, so, so, so, niiiiiiice”) when rubber bands started whizzing past my face like spuds out of a potato gun.  This, accompanied with, “oops,” and “Hey! My rubber band!”  Suddenly, little bodies were scrounging around on the floor for their escapees, like prison guards searching for inmates from Alcatraz.

That part was comical.  Mrs. Dahl was having a pretty good laugh.  But then the mayhem turned bloody (or at least painful).  As tiny fingers tried to manipulate stretchy rubber, the sounds of snapping now filled the air.  “Ow!” was becoming a chorus echoed around the kidney-shaped table.  (Snap) “OW!”  (Snap) “Ow!  OW!!!”  Now there was something else happening in the Magic Tree House.

Fear. 

Holy cow, I could see panic building in my Darlings.  They were afraid of the darn things.  Well, this would never do.  When I was a kid I hated math for all the right reasons.  It was hard and it was proof-positive I was stupid.  You remember the good old days, right?  (Vonda, what do you MEAN you don’t know the answer??!  Haven’t you been listening??  Don’t you know how to solve this problem YET??  Stop daydreaming!!)  Ah yes, education at its finest hour…

I could not only see my math lesson being flushed down the cold porcelain of lessons out-the-window, I suddenly also had images of my first graders growing up with geoboard trauma that would scar them for life.  The symptoms would include cold sweats when near the elastic aisle at the fabric store and an avoidance of tarp straps.   Group therapy to help overcome this American Psychological Association-sanctioned diagnosis would require being forced to hold rubber bands (…”see Clarence?  It’s just a rubber band.  Rubber bands don’t snap people.  People snap people…”).  The sessions would begin with the characteristic check-in… “Hi.  My name is Blanche and I am afraid of geoboards… (in unison now), “hiiii, Blanche…”

After a particularly brutal 3-snap torture, Miss Sweet-As-Pie Blondie announced, “I think this is dangerous!”

Good grief.

When all bands had been retrieved, bodies returned to chairs, and welts were beginning to form nicely, we started over.  “Boys and girls, watch Mrs. Dahl.  No dear, like THIS…” Thankfully, the Attack of the Evil Bands ended without too many casualties.  No tears were shed and no one refused to keep trying.  I guess I won’t know the full extent of the mental anguish until the next time I reach for the Tools of Torture, or I am handed cease-and-desist papers from attorneys.

Until then, I think we will stick with something safe, like flashcards.  No, wait… paper cuts… arrrrgh!  I give up.

“Hi, my name is Mrs. Dahl and I am afraid of teaching with math manipulatives.”  (hiiiii, Mrs. Dahl…).

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