During my course work in pursuit of an education degree, one of my professors insisted that today’s teacher should really be called an Edutainer. The point being that today’s modern child doesn’t look at anything that doesn’t require a remote control and impressive gaming skills. We live in a day when 3D screens are available for the average consumer and our very phones have incredibly complex functions. The old Dick and Jane reading basal just will not cut it anymore. Any teacher who dares to enter the world of a child had better be ready to stand on her head and spin her eyeballs, if that’s what it takes to get a child’s attention. Boredom will shut down learning faster than a ten car pile-up on Route 66.
This is part of the reason I chose teaching as a profession. The truth is, I am embarrassingly silly. I have the maturity level of the average nine-year-old. I fit right in with first grade.
This became apparent just this week. As you may or may not be aware, we have a Word of the Day in the Magic Tree House. These words are chosen by my reading curriculum and reinforce the vocabulary words sprinkled liberally throughout our reading, spelling, and grammar workbooks. I always have to suppress a smile when one of my darlings shouts enthusiastically, “Mrs. Dahl! I just saw this word in our story. It’s the same word!!” “And so it is,” I smilingly agree. “What an amazing coincidence…”
On Tuesday, our Word of the Day was “invisible.” I had a rollicking good time with the word with last year’s first graders, and knew I wanted to do it again.
First thing that morning, I grabbed a can of shaving cream from the art cart (a leftover from a winter art project, in case you are wondering. I haven’t lost so much estrogen that I need to shave facial hair yet).
I gathered the kids in a circle and told them I had magic invisibility spray and that for the entire school day, they would be invisible to others. They would be able to see one another, because invisible people can see other invisible people (everyone knows this), and possibly other students would see them, but the adults and staff would not be able to.
They were smart enough to be dubious, but gamely allowed me to “spray” them anyway. (Why can’t I feel it or see the spray, Mrs. Dahl? Because it’s invisible, of course!) What they did NOT know was that I had emailed the entire staff to play along, and boy, were they ready with Oscar-worthy performances!
Other teachers claimed to see only pencils and markers floating strangely in the air, the lunch crew couldn’t understand why plates and milk cartons walked themselves around with no owner attached, and the principal came down to our room and scolded me for letting the children be absent from the room while kids jumped in front of him and wrapped invisible arms around his legs and giggled like girls at a sleepover, absolutely certain he could not see them.
They were disappointed to learn that the spray would most certainly wear off by the time they boarded buses for home. Oh, how they wanted to prank their poor, unsuspecting parents and siblings! I had to admit that the longer lasting, high-powered invisibility spray was way out of my budget, so I had settled for the one-day, less expensive spray. Oh well. They were determined to enjoy invisibility then until the last bell rang.
Is it wrong to lead children down such imaginative paths? I have not a clue. I DO know that by the end of the day, each one could spell the word “invisible” flawlessly and knew exactly what it meant.
On Wednesday, we had a practice spelling test before the Main Event on Friday. This gives them a fair idea of what words need extra study time. One of the words on the list was “burn.” As any first grade teacher in any first grade classroom in this country would do, I quickly Youtubed The Trammps disco hit, “Burn, Baby, Burn.” A mainstay of my 70’s high school years and a commonly used teaching strategy the world over, I am sure.
You should have seen their little John Travolta faces light up. Suddenly, they were movin’ and groovin’ in their chairs and were ENGAGED in the process. Right before my very eyes, they fell in love with disco. In the interest of time, I did not finish the song, but suspended it several bars in and resumed the test. When the last word spelling word had been administered and tests turned in to me, they wanted to know if we could finish the song. Of course!! “Mrs. Dahl, can we DANCE??” Of course!! And that is how any passerby might have peeked in our room at that moment and seen the odd sight of nine very groovy first graders, and a very middle-aged quasi-hippie, bustin’ the moves to a thirty year-old song.
Someone should tell that teacher to grow up…
Our third word this week that made a splash was “portfolio.” I introduced this word as we prepared to create writing portfolios for our parents, filled with writing samples from the entire year.
I wanted to know if they had any idea what the word meant. I gave no helpful context. I merely wrote the word on the board and then asked for guesses. Puzzled little Bee Gees scratched chins and rolled eyeballs to the ceiling in furrowed thought. A hand shoots up. I point my dry erase marker at Mr. You-Are-Brave-To-Be-The-First. “What do you think portfolio means?” “Happy?” It is more a question than a guess. I give nothing away. Seeing that the first lad was not flung into the Bottomless Chasm for a wrong guess, another hand zings heavenward. “Mean,” he flings to me. “Does it mean ‘mean,’ Mrs. Dahl?” I do not answer with yes or no. Instead I place it in a sentence. “Billy is very portfolio and punched me in the face on the playground!” They looked at each other and giggled. “Does that sound right, class?” “NO!!” Next they guessed hungry and then sad. “I am so portfolio, I could eat a cow!” “I was so portfolio I cried into my pillow!” More giggles. They had no idea what the word meant, but the out-of-context sentences sounded silly even to them.
By the time arrived that I wrote the definition on the board, it was a bit anticlimactic; almost as if such a grand word should have an equally grand definition. But I doubt they will forget its meaning, if only partially.
The goal of a first grade teacher is have each student learn three to five new words PER WEEK. They need to be able to decode these words and have a firm grasp of the meaning. This may seem daunting, but their brains are absolute sponges. It is not difficult to bring a mere five-word addition into their mental inventory. Adding humor and intrigue helps Super Glue the words into their Permanent Files. If a little imaginative fibbing and a nod to disco help me do my job, then so be it.
I grew up with Dick and Jane. I would have given my spleen to have dance music and a school wide charade to help me learn vocabulary words. I have zero problem calling myself an Edutainor. It helps to have an appreciative audience. It is completely worth it to see comprehension dawn and connections made from such theatrics.
And so we floated like apparitions down halls unseen and danced with abandon. And we learned words that would have given Dick and Jane the hiccups.
I love my job.
It portfolios me every time I think about it…
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